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Player-Coach-Parent Relationships Tips


Choosing a Basketball Team

Selecting a team is one of the most difficult jobs that a coach must face. Trimming a roster is a difficult process.



After finding your starters and their substitutes, making sure to fill positions with some balance by having some ballhandlers, scorers, defenders, rebounders, etc. the rest of the squad is tough to choose. Make sure that you have enough players to have an effective practice. Remember that there may always going to be some players who are sick, hurt, at class or a study session, or at a family function. You don’t want your numbers to drop below 10 and prevent you from holding any 5 on 5 or scrimmage sessions.


It is not always the best 15 players that make a varsity team. Those last 5 may be better suited on a junior varsity, where they may get more playing time to develop. Many times the first 5 guys on the JV team are better than the last 5 on the Varsity. The next year after a lot of playing time, those JV players may be ready to contribute at the Varsity level. There are some things to look for besides players who can dribble fast, score points and rebound. Good teams also have players who do the little things that don’t show up on statistic sheets.

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What to Look For in Your Players

Who is always in stance, contesting shots, grabbing loose balls with two hands, running the floor, and moving the ball by passing to the first open player? Those are things that may not have a statistical value, but contribute to the team, greatly. Who is the player who passes the ball to the players that gets an assist? Sometimes is a player that sees the floor, and understands how to attack a defense. Who sets great screens to free up his teammates? Who settles down the team when things start to get a little crazy?

Take special note for players who are more alert, anticipate what may happen next, and encourage their teammates. Who will help their teammates and share their thoughts and knowledge in a positive manner.

In practice, who is the first to get there and the last to leave. Who works harder and tries to get their teammates to do the same. On and off the court, who attempts to get everyone focused on the task at hand, and thinks positive at all times.

Finally, choose players to fill out the roster that will contribute to the team off the court and in the locker room. Many times those players are older, more mature players who love the sport, want to be a part of the group, and understand that they may not play much. They may almost serve as "student assistants" who act as leaders by taking younger players under their wings. If a senior is not going to play much and does not embrace this role, he may be a distraction and hurt team morale. These types of players should not be on the final roster.

There is always room for good people. Some players who do not make the team can serve as managers, student assistants, or help with statistics and video. These students can make a coaches job easier and contribute to the quality of the program.

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Synergy On Your Team

Basketball is a game of the fast break, the give and go, the pick and roll, and finding the open man or doubling down on the big man in the low post and rotating out, and team defense. This is a game of teamwork, of coordinated efforts. Obviously these plays can not be performed alone. The better the teamwork, the better the offense or defense. 
You must begin to think of yourself as an part in a larger machine. Each part is a vital link that the machine as a whole could not work without. Synergism is created through the coordination of these parts. All the parts must interact correctly in order for synergism to be created.

Synergy requires cooperation from all team members. A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link. If a team has a giant hole in it, it is going to be tough to make up for it. The player who sets the pick in basketball is just as important as the player who comes off that pick for a three pointer. Synergy is a way of complimenting each other and creating a harmony from a relationship where everyone contributes.

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Roles and Goals

In developing "team chemistry," one of the most important things is for your players to understand the team’s goals and their own individual role on the team. Players need to know who the leaders are, the scorers, defensive stoppers, starters and substitutes. As these roles become clear, the team begins to develop its own identity, and can function more effectively in working towards

Every off season it is a good idea to have a "Roles and Goals" talk with your new team. Each player will state what their goals are, team and individual. Other players are encouraged to comment and discuss roles. Quite often, players in this setting will "under-evaluate" their abilities, and teammates will reinforce that players importance to the team. Team goals are emphasized, that way when we leave the room, everyone is on the same page. 


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Team Chemistry

Summer is a great opportunity to play some off-season games with the members of next seasons team. This not only provides a chance to play basketball together, but it is also a great time to spend time off of the court. This will give players a chance to foster better relationships with each other, and that will only improve the quality of the teams play.

During these off-season games, players start to develop some "chemistry" and figure out how to play together. On a team, you obviously need to be concerned with talent, but it is also important how those talented players are going to work together. Players need to accept the teams philosophy and must be willing to blend their talents with those of their teammates in order to win.

This means thinking of others. It means losing oneself in the group for the good of the group. It means being not just willing but eager to sacrifice personal interest or glory for the welfare of all. Of course, we all want to do well and receive individual praise. Yes, that’s fine, if you put it to use for the good of the team, whatever your team is: sports, business, family, or community. Team spirit means you are willing to sacrifice personal considerations for the welfare of all. That defines a team player.

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Parent a Program

We talk all the time about coaching the way that we would want our son or daughter coached. We would expect the coach, first and foremost, to be fair. We would want the coach to display patience and understanding with our child and the team. We want to be clear and concise in how we teach, giving the player the know how to perform, and then help them towards improvement, encouraging them all the way. Most of all we want to treat the player with the same respect that we ask of them. Scold and discipline when necessary, but re-teach and praise immediately following. We never want a player to leave the gym with a negative impression of how the coaches feel about them. As a coach you 1) should be knowledgeable and organized. 2) Love your players equally, unconditionally, and care about them off the floor. 3) Work FOR them as hard as you expect them to work FOR you.

Do these three things and your players will: 1) Listen and try to understand; 2) Show the desire to play as well as they can; and 3) PLAY HARD.

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Promote Positive Parent Involvement

Give parents a job to do. Whether it's filling water bottles, washing uniforms or helping at the scorers table, take advantage of those parents offering their help.



There are probably a hundred ways to be a good team member and a good parent at the same time. When the larger definition of team is working well, the experience can be wonderful for everyone involved. People who see your program in action will want to be a part of it. Parents looking ahead to when their child will be old enough to participate will want to fit in and help. This kind of teamwork perpetuates itself. Once it gets momentum, it can be quite a force. It just takes parents who care.

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Set Expectations Early

It is a good idea to have a meeting with parents and establish certain guidelines on the way you expect everyone to represent the program. Some things that you might want to tell the parents:


  • You are the cheerleader. Acknowledge good play on both sides and good calls by the referee.
  • Make a habit of congratulating players who make things happen.
  • Provide positive reinforcement for effort and attempts to do things correctly.
  • Share your enthusiasm for the game with the players.
  • Please don’t harass the refs. Parents that loudly harass the referee are embarrassing to the player and the team.
  • Don’t encourage your child to place the blame for their failures upon others. Learning to cope with disappointment is a valuable life skill.
  • Please don’t razz the other teams players. The other teams players should be considered off limits. 
Finally, three simple rules:


  1. Once you start, you finish. Do not allow your children to quit a team for any reason, other than safety.
  2. The coach’s decision is final. Do not intercede or interfere whether you like a decision or not.
  3. Do whatever it takes to make the team successful. Personal glory pales in relationship to team success.
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Player/Coach Relationships

An interesting way of looking at the player/coach relationship, is that players don’t play FOR us, but rather we work FOR our players to assist them in developing into the players and people that they are capable of becoming. Naturally, we need to do this within the team concept and keeping in mind what is also best for the group. Finding that balance is truly the one of the most important tasks that the basketball coach has.

The days of the dictator coach are behind us. We need to find other methods of teaching and relating to players that are more meaningful than "My way or the highway." Methods are adjusting for classroom teachers, and the basketball community needs to keep up with the times. In the classroom, teachers are continually finding ways of making their subjects more relevant and useful to their students, and applicable to the world that they live in. Most players(and students) now want to know “why” something is being done. It would benefit the coach to have an answer ready. Let the player know how it is going to help him/her individually, as well as helping the team.





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Parent/Coach Relationship

Share your thoughts about working together for the student/athlete. Parents should not talk bad about the coach in front of their child. Support the coach and stand behind his decisions. Encourage the child to have open lines of communication with the coach anytime a problem arises. Do not automatically blame the coach for your child’s problems or lack of playing time. Your child’s struggles to succeed are your child’s problems. Let him work them out without your interference. A player has every right to ask a coach what needs to be done to earn more playing time, for example. But a parent stepping in to demand playing time is another thing altogether.

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